Review

• 

  Manisha Lakhe

  -April 27, 2012

  FilmOrbit

  Fast & Spurious
  
  No, Of course not! We have not seen Speed where

  Fast & Spurious
  
  No, Of course not! We have not seen Speed where Keanu Reeves saves a busload of passengers riding on a buss fitted with a bomb. It's only a coincidence that in the Keanu Reeves movie the bomb will go off if the bus slows down under 60, and in Tezz the train happens to be fitted with a bomb that will also go off if the trains slows down below 60
  
  Did I say 'train'?
  
  I did, didn't I? I'm so sure that it is a coincidence Taking of Pelham 123 has similar kinds of tensions between the characters (the government taking decisions in Tezz, and the train company executives deciding the fate of the runaway train in Pelham 123) and action takes place in the control room.
  
  
  
  But we are clever, we won't tell you how we have seen Steven Segal's movie Under Seige 2 where his niece is traveling in the train with him. Here, it's different. It's the daughter that is on the train. No one would guess.
  
  But if we did not care to remember that most viewed yet unreleased in India movie made from a celebrated Swedish crime movie made from a novel had this really cool scene where the heroine rides a motorbike. No, no! I am not saying that the Tezz team copied the idea, after all, no body is chasing Lisbeth Salander. Here, although the chase smacks of Michelle Yeoh in Silver Hawk, this is different, right? Because it is England. That's so creative, isn't it?
  
  
  
  So you like coincidences. I like them too. You watch the movie in the comfort of knowing what is going to happen next. For example, in Speed, the police rescue passengers from the bus (that has a bomb connected to the speed of the bus) by making a bridge between the bomb-on-board bus and a police vehicle and people crossing over. Tezz makes you deliriously happy, because you get to see the great Mohanlal do if what Keanu Reeves does. And if Mohanlal is balancing precariously between two trains, that's a super cinematic treat, isn't it? You'll never remember Keanu Reeves, right?
  
  Speaking of coincidences, will you be at the edge of your seat when you realise that another train is on the same track as our bomb train and that a convenient 'passing lane' is located very near? No! Not at all. This movie has been made for people with a heart condition. When you know that Boman Irani will safely calculate (just like Denzel Washington does in Pelham 123) the exact speed and time at which trains should pass each other, why will your heart rate increase? You will sit back and relax and enjoy the garbled song where you can only make out the refrain, 'Tezz, tezz!' and wow at the very obvious computer generated trains crossing each other at fantastical speeds.
  
  
  
  I love the way the director has answered a question that was forming in our heads as we watched the movie: why was Sameera chosen to perform all the stunts and not Zayed Khan? But Priyadarshan has thought of that also! Marvelous! Just as Ann Hathaway - in David Nicholl's film One Day - rides a bicycle looking back and is crushed by a speeding truck coming from the right, isn't it obvious that Sameera Reddy should also look back during a high speed chase and get bumped off in a similar fashion?
  
  If I were in her place, I'd be hugely relieved. After all, Zayed Khan and the gorgeously surly Ajay Devgn were made to rush all over the city, being visible to the cops when they could have been quietly holed up in some Indian ghetto?
  
  Anil Kapoor as the retired cop asked to come back for one more case offers the role much seriousness. I suppose someone had to be, otherwise everyone would mistake it for a spoof. But Priyadarshan likes making comedies, so you cannot really be sure what is going on. I know trains can be notoriously late in India, but why does Ajay Devgn choose to put a bomb on a train and not stick to the original Speed plot and stick to the bus? Why is Kangna Ranaut made to hide as a kindergarten teacher something borrowed out of Kindergarten Cop, and never followed up?
  
  
  
  But these are questions that might slow your brain down, and that would not do when a movie is named Tezz, isn't it?
  
  One last disclaimer. Before you jump at my throat and say that I have given the plot points away, let me assure you. I have only discussed events that happen in other movies. In Tezz you just see them being enacted by Ajay Devgn, Anil Kapoor, Mohanlal and co. That's why half a heart.
  
  

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