If it’s not rays of light coming from the idol’s eyes directly into the eyes of the hero’s blind mother, it will be rays of light from behind the clouds during the hero’s epiphany. God has a super role to play in all movies, but he’s often just credited as ‘Voice of God’.

SAVES DAMSELS IN DISTRESS

God has a major role to play when damsels are in distress. Think about this, all that the heroine has to do is scream, ‘Bhagwaan! Aaj tu meri laaj bachaa le!’ when a huge ugly villain advancing towards her, fuelled by his hormones and the sight of her heaving bosom/ wet saree/ torn clothes that expose a delicious thigh/midriff/armpit...

Just that one scream that calls out to this all present but unseen entity and film-makers would have you believe that of all the hundred million prayers and calls for help (seen Bruce Almighty? And Jim Carrey’s interpretation of prayers being answered?) this one God will come to rescue our otherwise spunky and delightful but now utterly silly heroine, who walks backwards in terror and falls on to the villain’s rather large bed that’s covered in pink satin.



But her screams work, because out of the mist, out of the dust (the walls to the villain’s bedroom have just been demolished), out of the splinters (the door to the villain’s bedroom has been broken down) emerges the savior himself, buff in his avatar, and pissed off enough to not just demolish the furniture in the room but rearranging the skeletal structure of the villain. (Happened in all the Ranjeet, Gulshan Grover movies).

There is also a fifty per cent probability that it would be the sister of the hero who would need divine intervention. In that case, the second lead would be present in order to save the damsel. It is written in God’s handbook of cinema. (Watch Ranjeet, Gulshan Grover movies again to confirm this fact).

GODS AT THE MOVIES

grannies queue for these, and their popularity and their effect is endless. So amazing they are that a marketing gimmick is now considerd to be a real devi: Jai Santoshi Maa. Apparently there is no such thing, but just an idea of a devi who takes cares of the ones who have faith. It moved box office collections to unbelievable heights and is still seen on TV.



Other very popular God movies are: Har Har Mahadev, all Krishna movies (Bhakt Prahlada to name one) and the movies from the South like Maa Durga Divya Haathi which play on TV whenever there is an empty slot!

Beat that Amitabh Bachchan! Even Arnie cannot compete with God!

DHANNO, TUFFY, MOTI AS GODSEND...

in the 60s and the 70s dogs who shared the master’s roti were inevitably called Moti. Lassie was godsend also to lost travelers. Dhanno responded when Basanti needed help most. But it took a yapping pomeranian called Tuffy for the smiling idol of Krishna in the house of the mild mannered Kailashnath to save lovers from being separated for ever.



Jackie Shroff’s doberman saves the whole khaandaan in the movies when all seems to be lost. and no one has forgotten that it takes a bird called Allahrakkha to save the hero.

HOLLYWOOD AND GOD

We’re not talking about Moses, Jesus and other religion based epics which were spectacularly made (Ten Commandments is one of the finest examples). We/re not even talking about the unholy, the Anti-Christ (Omen and its sequels, The Emily Rose series, The Exorcist in its many avataars), but we’re talking about how God made appearances in Hollywood hits as well. In Bruce Almighty and it’s sequel, in many ‘Oh my God, save me from this fate worse than death!’ type of scenes.

Would you, dear readers, like to make a list?

Not Godfather or Godzilla, but here are some of the movies where God appears in the very titles. please add to the list:



The Gods Must be Crazy, Love And God, God And Gun, Oh God! (George Burns), God, City Of God, Letters To God, Conversations With God, God Tussi Great Ho, God And The Hitman,Bal Ganesh,The Passion of the Christ,Hanuman Returns,My Friend Ganesha....

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